Jumper Detectives

One of the most fascinating things about dogs is their phenomenal sense of smell. We have dogs that search for lost people, dogs that search for explosives, dogs that search for drugs, even dogs that can detect disease – only using their snout! The list of ways in which humans have found to utilise this talent in dogs is endless. Dogs have literally saved lives with the power of the nose. I could watch detection dogs working like this all day.

But…have you ever had to hand out lost jumpers to a class full of children? I have. And let me tell you, you wouldn’t get through a lost pile of clothing any faster with a fully trained scent detection dog than you can with a child, let alone a room full of them.

A pile of jumpers sits crumpled on the table in the middle of the classroom. Discarded around the classroom, left underneath coat pegs and even found in the sandpit – they have been collected and thrown together. It’s the end of playtime and the children race back in. I stand behind the mountain of jumpers and meet them with a heavy glare as they rush through with loud voices. They might only be 5 years old but they know what this look means. They slink to the carpet like puppies who have been caught being naughty. Sometimes, as a teacher, the mess just gets too much. And sometimes, when you are unable to finish your coffee before break ends, the tolerance for the mess disappears. That’s it. Enough. We are ignoring the lesson plans and sorting through this mess together. So it begins…”Who’s is this?” The first jumper is thrown into the crowd. It is quickly passed around, each child grabbing and immediately putting it to their nose. Inhale. Exhale. Verdict? Unanimous. ‘It’s Charlie’s, Miss!’ One jumper down, ten million to go. “And this one?” Little hands moving the clothes through the rows, working together to get the job done. Each jumper is sniffed by each little nose and somehow, every time they get it right and the jumpers are returned to their owners one by one. Great – now we can crack on with maths!

When I started working with children, this concept of children recognising each other by scent absolutely baffled me. As the years went by, I came to rely on this skill for getting clothes and toys home safe to the right owners and the children never let me down. This experience leaves me with the opinion that although dogs take top spot for superior sniffing, children (mostly of the small variety) come in a close second place. I wonder would it be breaking some sort of child labour laws to use this gift in the same way we employ dogs?

Can you picture it? A tiny human in a luminous jacket with the words ‘Scent Detection Child’ written across the back, patrolling the airports. They could be spread out, given a scent to find and weave through people, stopping and pointing when they find the smell. Or should they scream like a little alarm? Point and scream? Security would be on top of the reprobates like a tonne of bricks, if only to stop the child from screaming! Some dogs are trained to lie down and stay perfectly still when they detect the scent they are searching for. Imagine that! As an avid people watcher, I would personally find it incredibly amusing to see a small child race through a crowd, sniffing the air and throw themselves down when they find a scent. In fact, I would be immensely more impressed if somebody could train a child to do this, instead of a dog. Getting small children to stay still for longer than 0.1 seconds is a feat in itself.

So, if ever there is a shortage of scent detection dogs, primary schools up and down the country have the answer – the powerful noses of the little people!